We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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