I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
