his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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