i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
