She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
