I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
