Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
