I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
