TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
