if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ladies don't puke and tell
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
