ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
