I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
