An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
