So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
