two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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