we're blogging at a bar
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
