Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
