Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
