he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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