I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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