i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
