Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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