I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
