their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
