im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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