long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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