then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
