just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
