my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
