in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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