Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
