He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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