PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
