I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
