I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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