is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
