dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
