I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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