he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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