i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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