Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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