I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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