u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
