'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
