the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
