i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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