If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
