he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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