this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
