I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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