My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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