I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
