He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
