Someone shit on the floor
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The ass gains better be worth it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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